His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
