Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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