I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you never un-have a 4some
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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