this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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