I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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