why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
