So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
