Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
