I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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