I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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