You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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