we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
