Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I look excited, but its just a facade.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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