So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
