Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My vagina is officially offended.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
