so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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