so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
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We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
NoShamevember. You game?
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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