I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
