normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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