I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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