is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
