we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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