and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
