I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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