I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
