Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
as a side note pls kill me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
