Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
