Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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