I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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