carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
