I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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