Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
