I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
