Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
