For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
