It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize