Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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