who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize