My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
