Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
