Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
