READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
