You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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