my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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