why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
