don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
