Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i out mim tonsoeep
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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