I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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