that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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