Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
