I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
