Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
