Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize