Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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