just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
