I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I feel like abortions should bother me more
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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