it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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