Rock
Scissors
Fuck
there's paper in my vomit.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
