Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
